Choice
by MandaPanda0905
Summary: AU AH. Bella and Edward have been happily married for three years, but when Bella's past shows up, will their marriage survive?
1. Prologue

**Hey guys. This is my first try at writing a fan fiction and I just wanted to see how it would turn out. Before you start reading, I just want you to know that I am team Edward all the way, and this story is going to kill me to write, but hopefully it will be worth it.**

The amazing Stephenie Meyer owns all things Twilight.

**BPOV**

Standing on that ledge, looking out at the raging sea, I found it hard to believe that I had come so far. I had left my home three days previously; just jumped in the car and started driving. It wasn't until I saw the "Welcome to Washington" sign that I noticed where my subconscious was taking me. Back to the place where it all started. Back to my home town of Forks, Washington. Well technically, I was standing in La Push, at the edge of a cliff overlooking the Pacific Ocean.

I knew that I wasn't going to jump. I didn't have the heart to do that to my husband, to my child. Edward had been nothing but perfect in every way. It was this perfection that drove me to the edge of this cliff, 2,000 miles from Chicago, from home. I couldn't stand to look at his face, into his eyes that were filled with such love and admiration; not when every time I saw them, all I could think of was how I had betrayed him. I had done something that he could never forgive me for, something that I would _never_ forgive myself for, and yet he had never found out. I was sure that when I came home that night that he would be able to see it in my eyes. That he would be able to see the immense guilt that emanated from my every pore. But he didn't, and I have lived with this secret for five long years.

I heard something behind me snap and the sound brought me back to the present. I turned around and found myself standing face to face with my past, all 6 feet 5 inches of it. He looked just the way I remembered him. Tall and muscular with russet colored skin and long black hair. He had it tied in the back, at the nape of his neck, and I couldn't help but think about how I used to love running my fingers through the silky strands. Standing here, staring at this man brought back all the memories that I had worked so hard to bury.

"Hello Jacob." It was all the sound I could force from my lungs. The sight of him sent my heart into a panic and I was sure that he would be able to see it beating underneath my shirt, threatening to jump from my chest.

"Bella, it's been a long time"

"Five years."

**OK, so how did I do? I know that it's super short, but it's just the prologue. I hope to get the first real chapter up in the next few hours. If it totally sucks then I won't continue, but if you think that it's good then just tell me. Reviews are always appreciated.**


	2. Jacob

**Ok, so here it is. The first real chapter.**

**The amazing Stephenie Meyer owns all things Twilight.**

**Ten Years Earlier**

**BPOV**

"JACOB BLACK!! PUT ME DOWN THIS INSTANT!" I couldn't help but laugh as Jacob carried me through the house. It was the day of my high school graduation, and Charlie and I went over to the Black's house to celebrate. Charlie and Billy had been best friends for longer than either Jacob or I had been alive. By the time Jacob and I were old enough to walk, our fathers had been planning the wedding. They were so close, so to them, it only seemed natural that we would be too. The fact that Jacob Black had turned out to be one of the best looking guys in school didn't exactly hurt either, even if he was a year younger than me.

"Aww, but I like carrying you. You're so light that it's like I'm carrying nothing anyway." When we made it to his bedroom, he set me gently on my feet. Charlie and Billy were so oblivious to anything that we did that they didn't even think twice about Jacob and I being alone in his room together. Either that or they would sooner believe that we were doing nothing rather than believe that their children weren't complete angels. "I like that it's so easy to carry you. I doubt that it would be so easy to carry Lauren." He seemed to shudder at the thought.

"Oh? And what, exactly is that supposed to mean?" I asked as I wrapped my arms around his waist.

"Just that my girlfriend is the definitely the prettiest, sexiest girl to have ever graduated from Forks High."

"Sure, sure," I answered as I rolled my eyes.

"She is. I wouldn't say so if it weren't true." And with that he lowered his head to my face and his lips captured mine in one of his incredible kisses. We heard Billy's voice coming down the hall, and we broke apart. Though Billy and Charlie had hoped that Jacob and I would be a couple, we hadn't actually told them when we started going out. I think it was because we couldn't stand to see the looks on their faces, that "I told you so" look. Jacob went to his computer and I sat at the edge of his bed.

"Now where could those kids have gotten off to?" Billy seemed to ask to himself. We heard a knock on the door and Jacob yelled, "Come in dad."

"What are you two doing in here? Charlie and I are waiting to start dinner. We have a lot to celebrate tonight." He threw a wink my way, turned, and left the room. I left my spot on the bed and grabbed Jacob's hand, and we walked back out to the dining room in silence. Usually I was the one to cook, but because this was "my day" Charlie had insisted on preparing dinner. I was terrified of what he would come up with and when I saw the Italian food all the way from Port Angeles, I let out a little sigh of relief.

We all gathered around the table. It was quiet for a few moments before Billy spoke. "So Bella, Charlie here tells me that you'll be starting at Dartmouth in the fall. That's quite a prestigious school."

"Yeah it is. I can't wait to start, but I'm really going to miss you all."

"Especially Jacob huh?" Charlie said with a smirk. The heat rushed to my face, and I dipped my head to hide the blush.

Dinner continued on with polite conversation, and every now and then, Billy or Charlie would send me a knowing look, and I would blush again. After the dishes were clean and put away, Billy and Charlie went to watch a game, and Jacob and I went to talk in the back yard.

It was a rare cloudless night in Washington, so Jacob and I decided to make the most of it. We were lying on a blanket in the cool grass, just staring up at the sky, fingers intertwined at our sides. The stars lit up the sky and the moon was huge. It was one of the most beautiful things I had ever seen. Jacob let out a sigh and rolled over so that he could face me, his elbow propping him up.

"Promise me that when you get to New Hampshire, you won't leave me for the first frat boy who smiles at you."

He was so serious that I had to bite my lip to keep from laughing. "Jacob Black, that is the most ridiculous thing that I have ever heard. I love you, you know that. No frat boy, no matter how cute, is going to come between you and me. Do you understand that?"

"That's what you say now, but when you get up there, you might change your mind." I knew that he was really worried about this, but I couldn't help but find his worrying adorable.

"You have absolutely nothing to worry about Jake. We're solid as a rock. Now stop talking about Dartmouth like I leave tomorrow. I don't leave for another two months, and I plan to spend every moment of those two months with you." The corners of his mouth turned up into a smile and I just admired his face. When he smiled like that, he eyes seemed to sparkle.

"Every moment?"

"Every moment."

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Later that night, as Charlie and I drove back home in silence, I began to think about what Jacob had said. Could I really leave him for someone else? Did I love him because of him, or was he just the best choice out of slim pickings? I banished that thought as I began relive all the things we had been through together. What we had was not something that could be undone. Was it?

**Ok so tell me how I did. Did you like it, did you hate it? Drop me a review and tell me. If no one likes it then I won't continue.**

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Don't worry, Edward is coming soon I promise!


	3. The Night Before Life Goes On

**This chapter gave me a little bit of trouble, and I'm not completely happy with it, so if it's not so great, then feel free to tell me. **

**The amazing Stephenie Meyer owns all things Twilight.**

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**BPOV**

The two months of my last summer before college seemed to fly by at an unnatural speed. It seemed as if the world knew that I wanted to savor this time, so it purposefully sped up. I was in habit of making up excuses to go over to the Blacks as much as possible. If I hadn't showed up at Jacob's door by one in the afternoon, he figured that I couldn't come up with an excuse and he came up with one to come see me.

Those two months were pure bliss. As they drew to a close, I couldn't help but think of that song by Carrie Underwood, "The Night Before Life Goes On". The lyrics fit perfectly. It was a song about a girl going off to college and the boy who she'd be leaving behind. I had never felt more connected to a song.

Finally that night came, my own "Night Before Life Goes On". Jacob and I decided to go catch a movie in Port Angeles. I don't think that either of us really paid any attention to the movie. I think that it had something to do with vampires, but I couldn't tell for sure. All I could think about was this amazing guy sitting next to me, and how in the morning, I was going to leave him and my entire life behind to pursue my dream of becoming a writer. I had never felt guiltier for going to school so far away than in that moment.

After the movie, we went to dinner at the local Chinese place. I thought it over in my head for a bit before I decided to just spit it out. "Jacob, I really scared. I know that I told you that nothing would ever come between us, but I'm just so scared. Long distance is going be _really_ hard. I know that we'll write, e-mail, text, and talk on the phone, but I can't help but feel like I'm losing you."

My little confession seemed to startle him. He took a deep breath and didn't speak for a while and I thought that maybe he had been too zoned out and didn't hear me. But then he opened his mouth to speak.

"Bella, I'm not going to let this distance come between you and me. I've already told you that I'm concerned about you leaving. I have this feeling that once you are surrounded by people your own age who are interested in the same things that you are, that you're going to forget all about this small town and the people in it. Namely me. However, I also understand that this is something that you have to do. You're amazing and talented and if you were to stay here in Washington just for me then you would be holding yourself back, and I definitely don't want that. But make no mistake about it, I will fight for you. If I feel like you're starting to pull away, then don't be surprised to find me at your door in the morning."

"Jacob, it was stupid of me to bring this up. I love you so much, and I know that you love me too. I was just starting to get a little insecure. Please forget that I ever brought it up."

"No I will not forget that you brought it up. I'm glad that you did. It shows me that I'm not the only one freaking out about this. But it's ok, because I _do_ know that you love me almost as much as I love you." He looked up from his hand to smirk at me. "It's a good thing that you were honest with me. If we're not honest, then how can we expect to work through the problems?"

"Well I suppose that you have a point there. It's just that I was thinking about us last night and I really don't want to lose you." At this point, I couldn't look him in the eye anymore. I stared at my hands in my lap as I waited for his answer.

"Bella", he said as he took one of my hands in his, causing me to look up into his eyes, "you could never lose me." He brought my hand to his velvet soft lips and kissed it.

* * *

Later that night, as I lay in bed, I couldn't help but think about what Jacob had said. I had no doubt that he would show up at my door in New Hampshire; that was just the sort of thing that he would do.

I tossed and turned all night, not ready for what was waiting for me in the morning. I finally drifted to sleep sometime before dawn. My alarm clock started going off at 6:30am and I cursed Charlie for thinking that it would be a good idea to have an 11:30 flight when we had to drive all the way to Seattle to make it. Charlie pulled into the airport parking lot just in time and I had to run to make it to my plane.

The flight was uneventful. I took turns sleeping and reading from the collected works of Jane Austen that I had brought with me. When the plane touched down in New Hampshire, my heart started to race. I knew from the housing information that Dartmouth had sent that my roommate was a girl named Alice Cullen. We had spoken a few times on the phone and she seemed like a peppy person. Peppy wasn't really my style, but she seemed nice enough, so I decided to wait until I met her to make any judgments. She had told me that her twin brother Edward was also a freshman at Dartmouth and she was dating his best friend Jasper.

By the time I walked into my dorm room for the first time, my heart was beating so fast that I was sure that anyone within a thirty foot radius would be able to hear it. It was a small room with two twin beds. In between the beds, at the back of the room was a small window overlooking the lawn below. We were on the fourth floor. My roommate, Alice had obviously already claimed the bed on the right. It appeared that she had just stepped out real quick, because on top of the bed there were two suit cases overflowing with designer clothes. Just then I heard a squeal behind me.

"Oh you must be Bella! My name is Alice." I was sure that she continued talking after that, but I stopped listening when I saw the man who walked in behind her. He was the most beautiful thing I had ever seen. He was tall and pale, with the most breathtaking emeralds for eyes. This, I decided, was what a god looked like.

"Hi, my name is Edward."

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**Oo, yay! Edward. Ok so, "The Life Before Life Goes On" is a really great song. You should youtube it if you haven't heard it, I think that it fits really well. **

**The faster I get reviews, the sooner you get an update, so keep that in mind. Like the summary says, this story is about Bella and Edward's married life, so I'm pretty much going to skim over their time in college. Drop me a review and tell me how I'm doing! Please?**


	4. Orientation

**Ok, so I'm sorry this took a bit longer than I had intended it to, but I've been _really _busy at work. Grr to real life. I'm really beginning to hate my clock, because according to it, I'm always running out of time.**

**The amazing Stephenie Meyer owns all things Twilight.**

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**BPOV**

"Hi, my name is Edward."

For a second, I was just so shocked that this god had talked to me, that I couldn't force my vocal cords to respond. As I stood there, fumbling for words, the corner of his mouth pulled into a smile that told me that he was well aware of the effect that he had on the female population. It was the most amazing smile that I had ever seen.

"H-Hi, I'm Bella," I was finally able to stutter.

"Bella, fitting. Well Bella, I'm trusting you to take care of my little sister here."

Alice rolled her eyes and said, "oh please, I do not need to be taken care of."

"Sure you don't Alice." He smiled another amazingly crooked smile and then turned to me, "If you value your wardrobe, then you will hide it from this one. She hasn't let me buy clothes for myself since she was ten." And with that, he walked out the door.

As I was trying to fall asleep that night, my head kept drifting back to Edward; his beautiful smile, the amazing body that obviously hid beneath his clothes, his gorgeous eyes, the greenest I had ever seen, and the knowing look in them when it took me so long to answer. Could I really forget about Jacob that easily? I wished that I could just ignore the way that my heart flutters when Edward's face pops into my head, but I can't. But then I remembered Jacob back home, and the fear in his eyes when he spoke of me forgetting about him, and I felt terrible. How could I forget about someone I loved, just because some hot guy smiled at me? I knew I would feel awful until I did something. So I got out of bed, careful not to wake Alice, and went to my computer to write Jake an e-mail.

_Hey Jake. Missing you already. I'm going_

_to kill Charlie for making me get up so early_

_this morning. I'm really sorry for what I said_

_last night, I know that it worried you. I was just_

_being a little insecure about our relationship._

_I have no doubt that we are going to make it,_

_and when you join me here next year, everything_

_is going to be great._

_Yours forever, _

_Bella_

Even though I truly meant what I said, I couldn't help but feel like I had lied to him. It was then that I decided to stop over-analyzing everything and just live in the moment, letting life take me where it may.

The next morning, Alice and I went to new student orientation together. While we went through the day's activities, she told me all about her life back home in Chicago. Well, the part of her life that involved Jasper. "Jasper and Edward met when they were in the third grade, and they were best friends right away. Edward brought him home one day after school and I knew, even then, that this was the guy for me."

"Weren't you like six?"

"Yeah, so? Anyway, when I was in the tenth grade, Jasper asked me to the senior prom, and we've been dating ever since. Edward wasn't too happy about it at first. In fact, he threatened to kill Jasper. But now he's gotten used to it and it rarely bothers him anymore."

"Rarely?"

"Well there are some times when a door lock would be beneficial..."

"Oh."

"Well, what about you? Got a boyfriend back home?"

No matter how many times I told someone about him, the thought of Jacob always brought the blush to my face. But this time it wasn't just the thoughts of Jake that made my cheeks burn; it was mixed with what I had felt for Edward, and the guilt that that had caused. Alice, misinterpreting my blush, said, "oh, that cute huh?"

"Hmm? Oh yeah, really cute." I decided that admitting to Alice what I felt when I saw her brother would not be the best idea, especially since we had only met about eighteen hours earlier.

"Well, what's his name?!"

Alice had began to practically bounce in place and I was reminded forcibly of a pixie. "His name is Jacob, and he's really great." For the next half-hour I told Alice everything about Jacob, and when I finally finished, I had all but forgotten Edward.

Alice and I had somehow managed to find ourselves at the "club-extravaganza", which was an opportunity for all freshmen to check out the extra-curriculars that the university offered. Standing near the English Literature Book Club booth was the most beautiful girl I had ever seen. She had a face that Miss Universe would die for, and a body that would break any model's heart. Her long blonde hair fell in loose waves down her back. When Alice spotted her, she sped off in her direction. She threw herself at the girl, almost knocking her down and screaming, "ROSALIE!!" People were beginning to stare, but I got the impression that neither Alice or this Rosalie girl minded attention much. When everything had calmed down, Alice ran back to my side and grabbed my wrist, dragging me over to Rosalie.

"Rosalie, this is my roommate Bella Swan, Bella, this is an old friend from cheer camp, Rosalie Hale." _Cheer camp? Of course someone as peppy as Alice would be a cheerleader, _I thought. Rosalie must have seen the look on my face because she quickly responded, "my parents forced me into it."

Alice rolled her eyes and chose not respond to the obvious jab at her sport of choice, choosing instead to continue talking to Rosalie. "So Rose, where is that gorgeous boyfriend of yours?"

"Oh, Emmett? Manning the sports booth of course."

She pointed, and I looked over to see the biggest guy I had ever seen. His muscles made any others I had ever seen look like a joke. "So, I'm guessing that he plays football?"

"Of course. Star quarterback," Rosalie responded, "but don't let the muscles fool you, he's really just a big teddy bear."

I could tell from the look in her eyes that Rose really loved Emmett. And even though I hadn't seen her around him yet, the way Alice spoke about Jasper, I could tell that she loved him too. I was going to be surrounded by love while the one that I loved was nearly 5,000 miles away, _great._

Rosalie's voice broke me from my reverie, and I heard her ask Alice if we wanted to join her and Emmett for lunch . Not wanting to be rude, I agreed. I quickly regretted it when Alice pulled out her cell phone to invite Jasper and Edward.

The small sandwich shop was brightly lit and smelled of freshly baked bread. This restaurant had been Emmett's idea. He had said that "they have the best subs within a ten mile radius of campus." The four of us ordered and picked out a table in the back to wait for Edward and Jasper to arrive.

When the little bell above the door rung to signal a new arrival, my heart jumped in anticipation. I silently scolded myself as I remembered Jacob back home. I looked up to see a tall, blonde man in the doorway, and knew instantly that this must be Jasper. Alice had described him perfectly, and he was just as beautiful as she said. But all thoughts of Jasper being remotely attractive left my brain the second Edward walked in behind him.

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**Please don't kill me. It's just a tiny cliff hanger. This was originally just the first half of the chapter, but like I said, I've been really busy at work and I haven't had much time to write. It makes me sad too. However, I have to drive from Texas to New York soon, and since I'm not the one driving, I will have plenty of time to write. So when I'm done with the road trip, you might have up to three new chapters!**

**I am not above begging for reviews, so...can I _please _have a review? Can we make it to ten? Please?**


	5. A Day at the Mall

**Hey guys! Another chapter for you.**

**The amazing Stephenie Meyer owns all things Twilight.**

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EPOV

Ever since last night, when Alice had introduced me to Bella, I couldn't get the girl out of my mind. So when that pixie sister of mine called to ask if I wanted to have lunch with her and Bella, I jumped at the chance. But now that Jasper and I were on our way to the sandwich shop, I wasn't so sure. I wasn't usually the type to get nervous around a pretty girl, but for some reason, this one got to me in a way that no one ever had before.

Jasper and I walked through the door, causing the little bell to ding. Bella looked up at the noise and we briefly made eye contact. Then, for some reason, she quickly looked away, hiding her face with her hair.

"Hey man, let's go order." Jasper called, breaking my Bella induced trance. We got our sandwiches and sat with the other four at their table.

As we got there, Rosalie was asking Bella about her life back home. When Rose asked her if she had a boyfriend, I realized that I hadn't even considered that possibility. For some reason, she looked directly at me when she answered, "yes."

"Yes...that's it?" Rosalie asked. "You're not going to tell us anymore?"

Bella was looking at me again, and I got the feeling that she didn't want to say anymore. But why? And why was she looking at me? Could I be the reason why she didn't want to say anything? I quickly dismissed that thought and took a bite of my sandwich.

BPOV

I knew that I was being stupid, but when Rose asked if I had someone back home, I didn't want to answer. Edward was sitting opposite of me, and I found myself wishing that he wasn't so that he wouldn't hear the answer. Then once again, I felt terrible about wanting Edward to think that I was single. There was just something about this guy that made me feel like no one, not even Jake, ever had.

"Yes," I answered to Rosalie's question.

"Yes...that's it? You're not going to tell us anymore?"

I took a bit of my sandwich so that I could have some time to think about how to reply, but after half a second of chewing, Alice went into the whole explanation. She told them everything that I had told her earlier. When she finished, I chanced a look over at Edward and I was surprised to see that he looked more than a little disappointed.

EPOV

So she had someone at home? They way Alice was talking, it seemed like Bella loved this Jacob character quite a lot. I was instantly jealous, which was ridiculous because I had absolutely no reason to be. Bella in no way belonged to me, but I decided right then that I had to change that.

The rest of lunch passed with casual "get to know you" conversation as everyone got aquatinted. It was apparent that the six of us would get along quite well. We even made plans for the six of us to go clubbing that Friday night at Chaos, the local college hangout.

BPOV

The week went by without much incident. All of my classes were pretty easy, which surprised me, and I decided that high school teachers just want to scare students when they say how difficult college is going to be in comparison to high school.

Jacob and I talked on the phone every night and texted during the day, but as Friday drew closer, my thoughts kept drifting back to Edward. I had seen him a couple of times around campus, and every time, he threw me one of those crooked smiles that always made my heart jump. One Wednesday, we even hung out in mine and Alice's room while Jasper and her were out on a date. At one point that night, I thought he was going to kiss me, but then he turned away. When he did, I realized that I had wanted him to kiss me; I wanted to feel his warm lips on mine.

Friday morning, I woke up in a good mood because, not only was I going to spend the night hanging out with my friends (and Edward), I didn't have class that day. Alice decided that I didn't have any outfit appropriate enough for clubbing, so she called up Rosalie, and the three of us headed to the mall.

"My first shopping trip with my new best friend, I'm so excited!" Alice was literally jumping up and down, and I was worried that I had gotten myself in a little too deep.

"Be easy on her, this is her first Alice-led shopping trip," Rosalie warned. That immediately made me nervous.

As soon as we walked into the mall, Alice grabbed my hand and pulled me into the first store she saw. Within fifteen minutes, she had loaded my arms with enough clothes for an entire country. We went back to the dressing rooms and I was surprised to find that I actually liked a lot of what she had picked out.

"I found another one!" I heard Alice yell just as I was about to put my real clothes back on.

"But I've already tried on more clothes than I'll ever own."

"Trust me, I think that you'll really like this one," Rosalie said as she opened the door to the dressing room.

Hanging from her perfectly manicured finger was a _very_ un-Bella dress. It was midnight blue and probably didn't even come to mid-thigh. The top of the dress was a halter and came together in a knot that would rest just above my breasts.

"Rose, that dress would look much better on you than on me."

"Just try it on."

"But-"

"If you don't try it on then I'll tell Alice to get you something worse."

"Fine." I pulled the dress from her finger and slowly struggled into it.

"Bella, come out so we can see how hot you look." Alice shouted.

When I stepped out of the dressing room door, Alice practically tackled me. "Oh Bella, you're going to drive all of the guys crazy tonight."

"Well then I shouldn't wear this; I already have someone, remember?"

"Oh I remember, but I'm not so sure you do."

"What's that supposed to mean?"

"Oh nothing, plus, it never hurts to do a little flirting." She led me over to the 360 degree mirror so that I could see the dress on. The girl I saw staring back at me was not myself. This girl had long legs and a great body. This girl was hot.

"Come on Bella, we have to go get you some shoes to go with that hot dress!"

Three hours and countless outfits later, we were back at the dorm getting ready for our night out.

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**Ok, so, if you want to see Bella's dress, it's in my profile.**

**Also, while I was writing this chapter, I realized that I could take a really long time on their college years if I wanted to. But if I do, this story is going to be super long. So I thought that I'd let you decide. Do you want a super long story (I'm talking like 60-80 chapters), or do you want me to skim over their college years and get down to what the summary says? If I skim, then there will only be about 5 more chapters of them in college. Head over to my profile and vote!!**

**In the next chapter we get to see Edward and Bella at the club, yay! **

**One last thing. This story has almost 300 hits, but only 8 reviews. Now how does that make sense? Review, review, and I might just get the next chapter out faster. **


	6. Chaos

**This is my favorite chapter so far, and it's also the longest, so I hope you like it.**

**The amazing Stephenie Meyer owns all things Twilight.**

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**BPOV**

We had decided to meet the boys at Emmett's apartment so that we could all take his jeep from there. I was nervous as we drove to the apartment, my nerves growing with each passing minute. Edward had never seen me in something quite so revealing, and I was anxious to see his reaction. This wasn't something that I would usually wear, and I felt a little uncomfortable.

"It's this way," Rosalie said as we walked down the hall filled with apartment doors. My heart rate increased when Rosalie's hand went to the door because I knew that Edward was on the other side. If Jacob knew what I was doing now, he would surely drop everything to be on the next flight out. The thought sent a wave of guilt through me, but then Edward opened the door and all thoughts of Jacob flew from my mind. Edward looked amazing in jeans that hugged his body just right and a green and white striped button-down that made his eyes appear to sparkle.

"Shall we?" he asked as he held his arm out for me to take; a smirk playing on his perfect lips. The blush colored my cheeks as I realized that I had been caught staring. I took his arm, and we followed after the others who were already halfway down the hall. I still had my head bent to hide the blush, so I didn't notice that Edward had lowered his head to whisper something in my ear until I felt his warm breath on my skin. The feeling sent a shiver down my spine.

"You look amazing tonight. Blue is a great color on you." It was ridiculous how so few words could stop my heart from beating. It started up again in double time as the most perfect smile lit up his face.

When we arrived at Chaos, the line to get in wrapped around the corner. I was about to say something when Rosalie walked up to the bouncer and gave him a dazzling smile. He nodded his head, and lifted up the rope to let us all in.

"Damn Rose, that's a powerful weapon you have there." I commented as we stepped over the threshold into a room filled with pulsing laser lights and music that echoed in my chest.

"Thank you, I do try," she replied as she used her evil weapon again; this time to get us a table.

Jasper ordered us a couple pitchers of coke and we spent some time just talking and watching the people on the dance floor make a fool of themselves.

"So Bella," Edward asked, "how are you liking Dartmouth so far? Not missing home too much I hope?" The way he said it gave me the feeling that what he really meant was, "Not missing that boyfriend too much I hope."

"No, not too much. I like it here, there's so much more to see than back in my small town." I hoped that he picked up on the double meaning of my words. After a few more minutes of casual conversation, Jasper and Alice, and Emmett and Rosalie got up to dance, leaving Edward and me alone at the table.

"So," he said, looking straight into my eyes, " it must be hard for you to be surrounded by couples when the one you love is 5,000 miles away."

"Oh yeah, it is hard, but I'm ok with it."

"I've been the third wheel to Alice and Jasper for years, so I know how it goes."

I don't know possessed me, maybe it was seeing a spark of sadness in his eyes when he said those words, but the next thing I knew, I was on my feet with my hand held out to him. "Want to dance?"

The look on his face was as surprised as I was at myself, but he quickly mumbled "sure" and jumped to his feet. As we walked hand in hand to the dance floor, I focused all my concentration on not falling in these stilettos that Alice and Rose had forced me into. When Edward and I made it to the middle of the dance floor, I froze, realizing that this was a _bad_ idea. Noticing my hesitance, Edward asked, "What's wrong?"

"I really can't dance."

A smile pulled on the corners of his mouth as he answered. "That's a strange confession coming from the girl who just asked me to dance. Here, it's all in the leading." He put his hands on my hips and started to move them to the music. If my heart hadn't been pounding in my chest, I might actually have enjoyed it. As it was, I was so intoxicated by his touch that I could barely stand. I had to put my hands on his shoulders just to keep from falling. Just as I did, the song changed to a slow one.

"Now this, I can handle," I said as I laced my fingers behind his neck and we began to move to the music. His hands were still on my hips, and he pulled me closer to him until there was no space between us. I could feel his entire body press against mine, and at that moment, Jacob was the farthest thing from my mind.

"Bella" Edward whispered my name softly and I lost it. I leaned up on my tiptoes to look at him right in the eyes. My hands went from behind his neck to his hair as I pulled him slowly toward me. One of his hands came to rest on my cheek, his thumb brushing along my jaw. His other hand went to the small of my back, pulling me even closer to him.

The kiss started out soft and slow, each of us giving the other time to back out if we wanted. When it became apparent that neither of us intended on breaking the kiss, it quickly deepened. His tongue traced my top lip and my lips parted in response.

We quickly jumped apart when we heard Emmett yell, "Hey Rose, I think they're over here!" Just then, Emmett broke through a wall of bodies and was standing right in front of us.

"Hey guys, I think that we're going to call it a night. Rose isn't feeling well and I need to get her home."

When we got back to Emmett's apartment, Alice decided that she wanted to go home with Jasper, so that left Edward to drive me home. The ride was quite as I thought about what had happened. When we pulled into a parking space, Edward cut the engine and I turned to speak to him.

"Edward, about what happened tonight-"

"Bella, I'm so sorry. I don't know what came over me. I know that you have a boyfriend and-"

I cut him off by putting my finger to his lips. "Edward, I want you to know that I don't regret it." At my words, his face lit up into a huge smile. I leaned in and gave him a quick kiss before stepping out of the car and going to my room.

When I walked into the room, I saw a flashing light on my bed. I moved closer and realized that it was my phone, so I picked it up to look at it. _15 missed calls_, great. I saw that I had a voicemail, so I pressed "talk" to listen to it.

_Bella, where are you? I haven't talked to you since yesterday afternoon. Are you alright? I'm really worried; you _are_ a bit accident-prone. Call or text me as soon as you get this message, ok? I love you, bye._

And then I heard the dial tone. _Fantastic_, I thought as I sent him a text.

_Jacob_

_I am a big girl; I can take care of myself. I don't have to tell you where I am every second of every day. I was just out with some friends. Goodnight._

_Bella_

I showered quickly and jumped into bed, exhausted from my long day.

I woke in the morning to the sunlight streaming through the window, but it wasn't the light that woke me up. There was a loud banging on the door, and I looked through the peephole to see who it was. My heart jumped to my throat as I opened the door.

"Jacob."

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**Sorry for the cliffhanger, but really, it was too tempting. Bet you guys didn't see that one coming...**

**I am currently in the process of moving across the country, so if you don't get an update soon, that's why. **

**I'm not going to beg for reviews this time because that doesn't seem to be working :( So instead I'll just say, leave a review if you want to. **


	7. Lilies

**I'm **_**so **_**sorry that this took so long, but I just drove from Texas to New York (which is a long drive, about 27 hours if you do it in one shot). And then once I got to New York, I had to start all of my orientation things for New York University. This is my first free moment in a week and a half and I'm spending it on you all. You should feel special : )****.**

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So without further ado, here is the long overdue chapter, I hope you like it.

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_There was a loud banging on the door, and I looked through the peephole to see who it was. My heart jumped to my throat as I opened the door. _

"_Jacob."_

**BPOV**

"Jacob, what the hell are you doing here!?" I could not believe that he was standing here, in my doorway…in NEW HAMPSHIRE!

"Don't you remember what I said the night you left?" Jacob looked at me as if his gaze would suddenly remind me of what I had forgotten.

"No Jake, no I don't."

"I said that if I felt you pulling away, then you shouldn't be surprised to see me on your doorstep in the morning. You were pulling away, so here I am."

"Jacob, just because I leave my phone at home for _one_ night does not mean that I am pulling away. I accidentally forgot it. When I saw that you left me a message, I got back to you right away!" By this time I was shouting. "It's completely ridiculous that you would call that pulling away!"

"The Bella I know would have called me back, not sent me some snippy text, practically chewing my head off, just for being concerned about her."

"Jacob Black, you are being insane." I didn't know what to say anymore, so I just stormed off to the bedroom, leaving him standing there in the living room.

**EPOV  
**

When I woke up this morning, I was convinced that it had all been a dream. Then I realized that last night actually happened and I was the happiest I had been in a long time. Bella had told me that she didn't regret what had happened, but how could that be true? She has a boyfriend that she's been dating for a long time. I decided that I needed to find out if, after having a night to think about it, she still had no regrets. That's how I ended up in from of this flower shop.

"What can I do for you today, sir?" The girl behind the counter had the air of a girl who thinks that she's God's gift to men. In reality, she had the fakest tan I'd ever seen, terrible bleach-blonde hair, and way too much makeup. She batted her overly mascara-ed eyelashes and looked at me expectantly.

"I need a dozen pink lilies."

"Is it your mother's birthday?" I had to bite my lip to keep from laughing at the expression of hope on her face.

"No, they're for a girl."

"Oh." I rolled my eyes at the disappointment in her tone.

Fifteen minutes later I was standing in front of Bella's dorm room. I was about to knock when I heard voices inside.

**BPOV**

After a couple of minutes, I heard Jacob knocking softly on the bedroom door. As crazy as he was, and even though he severely over-reacted, I knew he was right. I fell for Edward, and because of that, I _was_ pulling away.

"Bells, I'm really sorry that I just showed up here like this. It's just that, when you didn't answer my call last night, I got really nervous; I thought something was wrong. So then, when I got your text and knew that you were all right, I got nervous for a different reason. I thought maybe what I feared most had happened. I thought maybe you met somebody. So I caught the first flight out to see for myself."

The pain in his voice was clearly evident, and it broke my heart to know that what he said was true. It wasn't fair to lead him along. I had to tell him what happened, and let him go, so I got up and opened the bedroom door.

"Bella, what's wrong? You look like you've been crying."

"Jake, there's something I have to tell you."

"What is it?" His voice was laced with concern and apprehension, almost as if he knew what I was going to say next.

I took a deep breath and opened my mouth to speak. Just as I did, there was a knock at the door. But before I could stop him, Jacob had already turned the knob.

There stood Edward. Holding flowers.

**EPOV**

The voice was unfamiliar, and most definitely male. At first I was nervous, but it didn't sound like Bella was scared so I figured there was nothing to worry about; I decided that she was probably just talking to Charlie on speaker. I shifted the lilies I was carrying to one arm and knocked on the door. **(A/N Lilies are my FAVORITE and I would die if Edward gave me some) **

The surprise of Bella not being the one to open the door was nothing compared to the surprise of seeing the person who did. I knew who he was immediately, recognizing him from pictures and description. This was Bella's boyfriend Jacob, and he was here, in New Hampshire.

**BPOV**

"Edward! What are you doing here?" His timing was both horrible and perfect. I had no idea how I was going to tell Jacob about Edward, but Edward solved that problem for me by showing up to my dorm with flowers.

The look in Jacob's eyes was one of pure anger. "Is this what you had to tell me!?"

"Jacob I-"

"You what!? You're sorry you cheated on me? You're sorry you threw me to the curb for the first attractive guy you saw?"

"Jacob! It's not like that."

"It's exactly like that Bella. Here, this is for you!" He pulled a small black box out of his pocket and threw it onto the floor at my feet. "And this is for you." He turned to Edward and punched him right in the jaw.

I barely had time to see Jacob turning the corner down the hall before I rushed to help Edward. Jacob is really strong, and Edward's mouth was bleeding.

"Edward, I am so sorry. I had no idea that he was going to show up here. And I definitely didn't know that he was going to hit you."

"It's perfectly understandable. I don't blame him one bit. If someone tried to steal you away from me, I'd do a lot more than punch them in the face." I couldn't believe the words that were coming out of his mouth. I had thought for sure that after that, he'd run the other direction to go find a girl with less drama. "I just hope that you still want me after this."

"You were hoping that _I_ still wanted _you_?"

"Of course. Why?"

"I was convinced that you would run from me after that."

"Silly Bella, I would never run from you."

His words sent the familiar blush to my cheeks. "Really?"

"Really. Now, this whole fiasco kind of ruined the moment, but these are for you." He held up the lilies that he had brought. They really were nice.

"Wow, what's the occasion?"

"It's a bit ironic now, but they're an apology…for messing things up between you and Jacob. And also a hope that you and I can still continue." His sparkling green eyes were almost liquid in they're intensity, and I could see the desire there.

With the famous blush back on my face, I took the flowers from his hand to find something to put them in. As I was walking to the kitchen **(A/N Yes, some dorms do have kitchens, mine does.) **to get a vase, I saw the black velvet box Jacob had thrown at me earlier. I picked it up and ran to the kitchen before Edward could see what I had. I put the lilies down on the counter and slowly opened the little box. Inside was a very beautiful, very expensive promise ring.

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**It's just a promise ring, not an engagement ring. They're a little young for that. **

**If you haven't already, then head over to my profile and vote in my poll. It's VERY important to this story. **

**I have a favor to ask. If everyone who has this story on alert could **_**please**_** review, I would love you forever ).**

**The next few weeks are going to be a bit sparse when it comes to updates. I started college on Monday (EEK!!) and it's been really hectic. Just know that if you go awhile without an update, I'm NOT stopping. I love you guys too much to do that. This story will continue.**


	8. Who to Pick?

**I AM SO SORRY. I know that it's been a long time since I've updated, but I've a lot going on. I just started college and things have been really hectic. Right now, as I am typing this, I am standing in the laundry room at my dorm washing my clothes. Fun I know. And on top of all of that, today is my 18****th**** birthday!!**

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I hope that you like this chapter. Once I started typing, it just sort of flowed out. I like where it went, and I hope you do too.

I would like to dedicate this chapter to sli723 for always reviewing. It makes me happy.

**As always, the amazing Stephenie Meyer owns all things Twilight.**

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**BPOV**

I had to clutch on to the kitchen counter to keep from falling over. Jake had come all the way from Forks to give me this beautiful ring, and he had found me here with another man. Guilt coursed through my veins and I felt as if I was going to faint.

"Bella, are you all right?" Edward's velvety voice brought me back to reality. I hid the ring behind my back before he could see it.

"Um yeah, I'm fine."

"Bella, you are a horrible liar. Tell me what's wrong." The look of concern in Edward's eyes was so intense that it almost forced a confession out of me, but I couldn't tell Edward what was wrong, not until I talked to Jacob first.

"Really, it's nothing. I'm just being stupid. Thank you so much for the flowers, they really are beautiful, but I have to go find Jake. I really need to talk to him."

At my words, Edward turned and left me alone in the dorm room. Even thought I told him that I had to go see Jake, he was the last person that I wanted to talk to right now. I needed to talk about what had happened with someone who wasn't directly involved. I picked up my cell phone and dialed the number. After a few rings, the pixie picked up.

"Hey! Bella, I haven't seen you since that steamy kiss with my brother on the dance floor. I knew it, I could tell that you liked him as much as he liked you, I was just waiting for this to happen!"

Her joy was a little suffocating and I had to stop her before she said something that would make me feel worse than I already did. "ALICE, just stop for a moment."

"What's wrong Bella? You sound upset."

"I need to talk to you in person. I just really need to speak to you. Could you meet me at Starbucks in five?"

"Sure thing, I'll be right there."

Ten minutes later, I was sitting in a booth at the local Starbucks across from Alice, grande caramel frapuccino in hand.

"So Bella, is there a reason why I am sitting here and not gushing over what happened between you and my brother?"

"Jacob showed up this morning."

"WHAT!?" She was in complete shock, and if she had had any coffee in her mouth, then she would have spit it out.

"Yeah, that's what I said. That's not the only thing though. He brought this." I pulled the promise ring out of my pocket and placed it on the counter. It was silver with a princess cut diamond in the center and a few smaller diamonds on either side. **(Link in profile)**

"Oh my! It's beautiful, and it looks real."

"I know, I don't even want to think about how much this must have cost him."

"So what did you do when he gave you the ring?"

"Well he didn't exactly get the chance to _give_ it to me. Throw it at me is more like it."

"What's that supposed to mean?"

I went on to explain everything that had happened since the kiss at the club. When I was finished, Alice was in complete shock. "Wow, this is really big."

"Yeah Alice, I know. What I don't know is what I'm going to do about it. I really hurt Jacob. Badly. I need to find a way to make it up to him, while still letting him know that we are over. I mean I can't still be with him after this. It's not fair to him; I have feelings for Edward."

"Well I really can't help you there. Jasper and I had a fairly smooth start and everything had been great since. I have no experience in this area. I'm really sorry. Though I do think that you need to talk to Jake."

"It's ok Alice, I just needed someone to talk to. I need to find Jake now, but I have no idea where." With that, Alice and I went our separate ways. She went back to Jasper's, and I headed back to our dorm to figure out where Jake could have gone. I doubted that he had booked a hotel. He wasn't one to think things through, not to mention that he was only 17, and not old enough to get a room by himself.

When I got back to the dorm, I was surprised and a little scared to find the door slightly open. I cautiously creaked the door open little by little, and was relieved to find that it was just Jake sitting on the couch.

"Jake, we need to talk."

"Oh no, the infamous 'we need to talk'. Look Bella, I know where this is going." He ducked his head down and I thought that he might have shed a tear.

"Jacob, I never meant to hurt you." I was going to continue, but I was cut off by Jacob's harsh laugh.

"Really Bella! Does anyone in this situation ever set out to intentionally hurt someone? It doesn't matter that you didn't mean to, the fact is that you still did!"

I was taken aback by the pain in his eyes. "Jake! I'm so sorry. If I could take it all back, I would. In a heartbeat."

"Well you can't. You have to choose, right here, right now. Who will it be? Me or Edward?"

"Jake!! Don't do this."

"Pick Bella." Suddenly my shoes were very interesting as I tried to find an excuse to not look at him. I couldn't believe that I was hearing this. If I was being honest with myself, then I would have to pick Edward. I knew that it had only been a few weeks, but Edward made me feel things that I had never felt before, and I wanted to see where those feelings would take me.

"If you make me pick right now Jake, you're not going to like the answer."

"Tell me."

"I'm so sorry Jake, but I have to pick Edward." I braced myself for the reaction that I knew was coming. But after a few moments, he was still silent. "Jacob, say something."

"I have nothing to say Bella. I will always love you, you know that, but if you no longer want me then I respect that. Just know that I will always be here, and the promise that that ring symbolizes still stands." I knew that I was breaking his heart, and that knowledge broke mine a little too.

Jake got up then. "Where are you going?"

He stopped walking toward the door and turned to face me. "When I saw Edward earlier, I called the airline and booked a flight back home. It leaves in two hours. I have to go if I'm going to make it."

"Jake, I'm so sorry."

"Yeah, I am too." He turned and walked out of the door.

I couldn't sleep that night. I kept tossing and turning, just thinking about how badly I had hurt Jake. I would never be able to forgive myself.

When it was six in the morning I couldn't take it anymore and I jumped in the shower. I just stood there for a long time as the hot water massaged my tense muscles. When the water began to run cold, I actually washed and stepped out. Alice still hadn't come back from Jasper's, so I was still alone. I had to talk to Edward and tell him what had happened. I didn't know how he would take it, or if he would even want to be with me like that. I looked to the clock and saw that it was only eight, and that if I called him now, I would probably wake him up. So instead, I sat down on the couch and turned on the TV. There was nothing on but old sitcoms, so I left it on Boy Meets World **(Best show EVER!) **and started to daydream. After a few episodes, I figured that it was ok to call him. He pick up after 3 rings.

"Edward, can you come over? I think that we have to have a talk."

"Oh no, those are never good words." He chuckled slightly and I was reminded of his amazing smile. My heart melted a little at just the mental image and I knew that I had made the right decision.

"It's not bad, I promise. At least I hope not."

"I'll be over there soon. I didn't feel like being in the room all night with Jasper and Alice again so I stayed with Emmett, so it may take a little longer to get there."

"That's ok, just get here as soon as you can, ok?"

"Sure thing Bella, be there soon. Bye."

"Bye."

Twenty minutes there was a knock on the door, and I opened it to see Edward's amazing face looking down at me. "You rang?" He mouth pulled into his signature smirk and his emerald eyes glowed as they gazed into mine. The bruise that Jacob had left was still pretty evident, but it did nothing to hinder his amazing looks. I was so absorbed in ogling him that I didn't hear him call my name. "Earth to Bella? Are you in there?"

The blush rose to my cheeks as he stood there laughing slightly. "Oh um yeah, come on in." I was able to ramble out. I sounded like an idiot, and I just hoped that he didn't notice.

"You wanted to talk?" He asked he made his way over to the couch.

"Mhm."

"About what?"

"About Jacob."

"Oh." His smile instantly fell and he looked hurt.

"NO! Not like that. I chose you. Jacob went home last night. We're over."

Edward's eyes instantly perked up. "Really?" I could tell that he was hesitant to believe it.

"Really."

"So you and I are free to be together now?"

"Yes. That's if you _want_ to be with me."

"Silly Bella, of course I do. I thought that I had made that clear."

"You did, I was just making sure."

"I see." Edward then stood up off of the couch and slowly stalked over to where I was standing. His lips captured mine in a passion filled kiss and before I knew that we were moving, I felt my back hit the door of my room. I lifted my legs up and wrapped them around his waist. I reached down for the doorknob and slowly opened the door into my room.

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**Yes that is where I ended it. Sorry no lemon, this is rated T after all. Besides, I don't think that anyone would enjoy one if I tried to write one. I shudder at the thought. Believe me, it's better that I didn't.**

**Ok, since the results of my poll came out 50/50, then I have to make the decision myself. And my decision is...this is the last chapter of them in college, or maybe one more. But there are still a few more chapters before I really start to get into the story. If you don't agree, well then maybe you should have voted ;)**

**And Boy Meets World is the best show ever made. At least that's what I think. **

**So what did you think? Did you like? How about a review for my birthday, please? That's right, I'm begging :)****.**


	9. Graduation

**So it appears that there is a pattern. Apparently the only time that I can find time to write is when I am doing my laundry. So you can expect an update every week and a half or so.**

**Ok so I may have messed up the timeline a little bit when I first started, so I had to adjust it a little bit. If you've been reading for awhile, then you might be a little confused with the time line, but I went back to the first chapter and fixed it, so hopefully it makes more sense now, sorry.**

**I hope that you like this chapter; it is a little bit different that the others have been. Less angst, more fluff.**

**The amazing Stephenie Meyer owns all things Twilight.**

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**Last time on "Choice"**

_"Yes. That's if you _want_ to be with me."_

"_Silly Bella, of course I do. I thought that I had made that clear."_

"_You did, I was just making sure."_

"_I see." Edward then stood up off of the couch and slowly stalked over to where I was standing. His lips captured mine in a passion filled kiss and before I knew that we were moving, I felt my back hit the door of my room. I lifted my legs up and wrapped them around his waist. I reached down for the doorknob and slowly opened the door into my room._

**Four Years Later**

**BPOV**

"Bella, hurry up! If we're late because of you, there _will_ be consequences." I could hear Alice's voice even though I was still in the shower. Today was our graduation and we had to be there in about 2 hours.

"Alice, calm down. We still have two hours!" I yelled back.

"Two hours is nothing. I still have to make you pretty!"

"Oh gee thanks Alice, glad to know that I'm not pretty without your interference." I said as I walked out of the bathroom.

"Oh Bella, just ignore her," Rosalie said to me from her perch on the edge of my bed.

"Well that's easy for you to say. You wake up and you're the most beautiful woman I've ever seen."

"Why thank you Bella, but really it does take some work."

"Mhm, sure."

"It does, though not as much work as Emmett takes. He hogs the bathroom in the morning, and it's really starting to piss me off." Rosalie and Emmett had gotten married our junior year in college and then moved into a house really close to campus. Their house was were we spent most of out time hanging out, seeing as it had the most room, and a back yard where the boys liked to barbeque.

"I don't even want to know what he does in there in the morning." I replied, and really I didn't. There are some things that I just did not need to know about my friends.

"I'm sorry Rose, Jasper isn't nearly the bathroom hog that Emmett is." Alice chirped from the kitchen.

"You say that now, but just you wait until you two move in together. You won't be saying that anymore. I'm telling you, you have a pretty boy there, and pretty boys are always bathroom hogs." Rose was probably right. Jasper was prettier than me sometimes, but I had always thought that that was Alice's doing.

"Hey! He's not that much of a pretty boy!" Alice screeched.

"Um Alice, yes he is, but don't worry about it, it's a good thing." I tried to pacify her. "At least you know that he has good hygiene, and good taste. Just look at that ring that he picked out."

"Yeah, it is pretty isn't it?" She asked while admiring the ring on her left hand. She got a far off look in her eyes and I knew that she remembering the night that Jasper had proposed. It was about six months ago, around Christmas. Jasper had taken us all ice-skating. When we got to the rink, we found out that he had rented it out for just the six of us. We skated around for a while, and then Jasper took Alice out into the very center of the ice. He got down on one knee just as hundreds of sparklers started going off around the edge of the lake. It was the most beautiful thing I had ever seen. There was a full moon in the sky, no clouds, and hundreds of stars. It was not a night that any of us would forget any time soon.

"Definitely. I'm so jealous of you guys. Rose, you're married, and Alice, you're engaged. Sometimes I just feel like Edward is never going to ask me." After Jasper had proposed, Edward seemed to be thinking about it, but it had been a long time and I was beginning to think that he would never ask.

"Don't be ridiculous!" both Rose and Alice yelled in unison.

"He's crazy about you Bella, it's just a matter of time. Any day now, you'll see." Alice said.

"I just hope that you're right, I don't know if I can wait much longer."

**EPOV**

I couldn't wait for tonight. Today was Alice, Rose, Jasper, Bella, and mine graduation from Dartmouth. We had worked really hard for the last four years, and this was our night. Emmett's graduation two years ago had been the night that he proposed to Rose, and I was taking a page out of his book. Tonight, at the after party, was the night that I was going to pledge my love to Bella, and ask her to be my wife.

I had asked Alice to help me pick out the ring, and I loved the one that she chose, I just hoped that Bella did too. It was a one-carat round cut diamond with tiny diamonds bordering it, with more tiny diamonds going down the sides of the band. **(That's my dream ring. There's no link in my profile because I have yet to find it. It's just something I thought of in my head one day.)**

**BPOV**

"Edward Anthony Masen Cullen." The President of the university said as Edward walked across the stage. I couldn't believe that we had gotten this far. The last four years had been amazing, and it was kind of sad to see them come to an end. But I knew that what was ahead was even more amazing. Edward was starting medical school at Northwestern next year to be closer to his parents in Chicago. I was going to spend the next year with him in Chicago working and then maybe applying to some Masters programs. "Mary Alice Brandon Cullen." Alice was next, and she simply danced across the stage. I could never have even an ounce of grace that that girl had.

I fell into another daydream until I hear the next familiar name, "Jasper Hale". Jasper and Alice really were the perfect couple. They never fought like Rose and Emmett sometimes did, and they never felt inadequate for the other like Edward and I had some issues with. I really had no idea what Edward was so scared of. He was the only person that I ever needed, and yet he thought that he wasn't worthy of my love. More like I wasn't worthy of his.

"Rosalie Hale McCarty" Rose was next, and even in the tacky graduation gown, she managed to look amazing. It was now time for my line to get ready to walk across the stage and I was hoping against all hope that I wouldn't trip as I grabbed for my diploma. That would be just like me.

"Isabella Marie Swan." I took my time walking. Thankfully Alice had allowed me to wear flats. I don't know if I would have survived in heels. Amazingly, I made it across without tripping.

After the last person crossed the stage, the president said "Congratulations to the Dartmouth Class of 2008!!" and we all threw our caps into the air.

Two hours later, the six of us were at the after party at Emmett and Rose's house. "I would like to propose a toast." Emmett's booming voice could be heard over the obnoxiously loud music. "To my lovely wife and the rest of the class of 2008!!" As we all brought our champagne glasses to our lips, I noticed that Rose had something different in hers.

"Hey, Rose, what's with the non-alcoholic stuff?" I asked her.

She turned to Emmett and said, "what do you think baby, should we tell them now?"

"Only if you want to." I could see a smile start to pull at Emmett's lips as Rose nodded and turned to the rest of the party.

"We just found out last week, but…I'm pregnant!!"

"OH MY GOD!! I'm so happy for you!" Alice squealed. She was literally bouncing.

"Are you two ready for this?" I asked her.

"Yeah, we were a little freaked out at first, but now we're really excited."

"Well then I'm really happy for you two."

Edward was the next one to speak. "Well now I feel a little like I am stealing your thunder Rose, but I also have an announcement to make. Well, a question to ask is more like it."

He turned to me and the look in his eyes caused my breath to catch. His eyes were smoldering and they looked like liquid. When he dropped to one knee, I thought that I was going to faint. "Bella, since I've met you, I couldn't ever imagine not knowing you. You are my world, my life. You make everything that is bad, good again, and you make even the worst days the best, simply by being you. And more than anything else, you make it all right to be me. Will you marry me?" He then opened the little black box that he had in his pocket. Inside was the most beautiful ring that I had ever seen.

I was stunned into complete silence. My knees felt like jelly and I knew that at any minute I could faint. My eyes were starting to tear up, and Edward slowly rose from his knee. "Bella?"

At that moment, I ran into his arms and threw my arms around his neck. "Of course I will marry you Edward."

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**So I admit that I took the "You make it all right to be me" line from a poem in the movie Driving Lessons. I absolutely LOVE that poem, and the movie as a whole, and I think you should check it out. **

**Anyways, I've been thinking that I need a beta, so if you're interested then just PM me. **

**I have a new poll, so head over to my profile and check it out.**

**The big secret mentioned in the prologue is in the next chapter!! Just so you know. And also, for the next couple of chapters, time is going to be going by pretty quickly.  
**

**Review?**


	10. Betrayal

**Wow, well that took longer than I thought it would. Sorry that it's been a while, but I'm a busy college student. I currently have four papers that I'm in the process of writing, so please bear with me. Also, for those of you who review this chapter, you will get a little preview of the next chapter. Lucky you ;)**

**The amazing Stephenie Meyer owns all things Twilight.**

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**One year later**

**BPOV**

I loved being married to Edward, I really did. There was nothing better than waking up next to the man of my dreams every morning. Thanksgiving was this Thursday and we were going to Forks to celebrate with Charlie. I was slightly nervous because I hadn't seen Charlie since the wedding. Also, I knew that since Charlie and Billy had remained great friends, Billy and Jacob would be at Thanksgiving dinner. I hadn't seen Jake since the day that he walked out of my dorm room so many years ago; I was extremely nervous.

"Bella!" I heard Edward calling from downstairs. We had to leave now if we were going to make our flight.

"Coming!!" I shouted back down to him. I quickly grabbed my bag and headed for the door.

"Are you nervous about seeing your father again?" Edward asked as we drove to the airport.

"Yeah, a little bit." Edward didn't know that Jacob was coming to dinner, and I didn't want to tell him, not yet. I didn't know how he would take it. I knew that it was ridiculous of me to think that still, after all these years, Edward would have any ill feelings towards Jacob, but I knew that when Edward and I first got together, he was always worried that I would change my mind and go back to Jacob.

The flight was uneventful, and I actually managed to get a few hours of sleep. When we landed in Port Angeles, Edward and I went to the car rental desk to get a car for the hour drive to Forks. The closer we got to Forks, the more the scenery started to look familiar. It was a strange feeling. Home to me was where ever Edward was, but this was like going back to a different home; like going back to a different time.

When we finally pulled into Charlie's driveway, Edward stepped out of the car and came to my side to open the passenger door for me. He then popped the trunk and started to get our bags out.

"Edward, let me do that!" Charlie called from the porch steps. He came over and began to pull our bags toward the house. "So, how was your flight?"

"It was great Charlie, thanks for asking." Edward always knew what to say, and I was thankful because I usually said the wrong thing.

"Yeah dad, great flight." We walked up the porch steps and into the house. I went straight upstairs to my old room to freshen up a bit. When I walked in, I saw that Charlie had put a cot up next to my old single bed.

The next few days passed by in a blur. Most of the time was spent catching up with old friends from high school who were still in Forks. Mike Newton had taken over Newton Outfitters and had married Jessica Stanley – Jessica Newton now. Angela and Ben were still in the area, married with two adorable children. Apparently they got married right out of high school. I avoided La Push; I didn't want to see Jacob unless I had to. I heard from the others that he was still single. He had had a few girlfriends over the years, but nothing serious.

I woke up on Thursday morning feeling more anxious than I should have for just a Thanksgiving dinner. Edward was already up, and I could hear the shower running. I got up and slipped into the bathroom. When I opened the shower curtain, he was surprised to see me, but invited me in. After we showered – with no funny business – and got ready for our day, we went downstairs. I started preparing for dinner that night by cutting up vegetables, preparing the stuffing, and seasoning the turkey. Edward was helping me with the veggies while Charlie was out fishing. Even on Thanksgiving, that man had to fish.

A few hours later, Charlie had come home, changed, and was now sitting on the couch watching whatever game was on TV. Edward was upstairs in my room reading.

"Hey Bells, how much longer until dinner?" Charlie asked from his place in the living room.

"About four more hours. What time are the Blacks getting here?" I asked, not really wanting to know the answer.

"Billy said that they'd be here around four."

"Well it's one now, so they're going to have to wait a little bit for the food."

"I'm sure they won't mind, they'll just watch the game in here with me." Charlie called back. Just then, Edward came down the stairs.

The nerves that had started to dissipate as I steadily worked were now back full force. Something about the way I was acting must have changed because Edward came up behind me, wrapped his arms around my waist, and leaned down to whisper in my ear, "what's got you so worked up?"

His warm breath on the back of my neck caused me to lose focus a bit. I blame that for the word vomit. "Just nervous about Jake coming over later, I haven't seen him since…that night."

At my words, Edward suddenly stiffened and it took me a few seconds to realize my mistake. "Jacob is coming tonight?"

"Umm, yeah. I'm sorry that I didn't tell you earlier. I didn't know what you would think." I was rambling, and Edward put his finger to my lips to quiet me.

"Bella, it's ok. I'm just surprised. I wish that you would have told me earlier so that I could have prepared."

At exactly four o'clock I heard a knock at the door. Charlie yelled "COME IN!" from the couch, and the door opened. There Jacob was, wheeling Billy through the door. I vaguely noticed Edward walk over to hold the door open. Jake was exactly as I had remembered him. Tall, dark, and handsome; the perfect cliché.

To say that dinner was awkward is an understatement of epic proportions. As soon as Jacob had walked through the door, all these old feeling came rushing back to me. He was still the same Jacob that had walked away years ago, and yet he was somehow changed. Any signs of childhood had long since left, he was a man now. I often caught him looking at me, and I'm sure that Edward did too. I could tell that Edward was uncomfortable, and I tried to give him a reassuring smile that probably came out as a grimace.

Charlie and Billy were completely oblivious to the awkwardness and just went about dinner as usual.

When Billy and Jake finally left, Edward and I let out a sigh of relief.

As I lay in bed that night, I couldn't get the image of Jacob out of my head. Before I knew what I was doing, I had gotten out of bed and dressed. When I was half way to La Push, doubts began to settle in. _What the hell are you doing Bella!? Why are you going to Jacob? GO BACK TO EDWARD!! You love your husband, don't mess things up. Bella Cullen, turn this car around NOW! _I just couldn't make myself listen to my thoughts. I knew that what I was doing was wrong, but I was unable to force myself to turn around and go back to my husband.

When I crossed the border into La Push, my hands started to visibly shake. Even after all these years, I still knew my way right to the Black's door. Actually standing on their doorstep freaked me out a bit, and I was about to turn around and get back in the car when the door opened. It was Jacob.

"Bella? What are doing here?" His shock was evident on his face, and I could tell from the pajama pants that he was wearing that he was about to go to bed.

"Is Billy asleep?" I asked, ignoring his question.

"Yeah, he went to bed hours ago, why?"

No longer thinking clearly, I crushed my lips to his, throwing my arms around his neck. I could tell that he was startled, but he did not resist. He slowly backed up into the house, closing the door behind us. He broke the kiss and looked down at me, questioning in his eyes. Silently, I grabbed his hand and led him to his bedroom.

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**:Hides and cowers for fear of being murdered: I'M SORRY!! Please don't kill me! I said in my very first author's note that this was going to be difficult to write. **

**I'm still looking for a beta, so if you're interested, then just PM me, k?**

**This is not a fluff story, sorry. It's a bit of a cliffhanger, but not really. If you want to know what happens next before everyone else, it's as simple as submitting a review. If you review, then I will send you the beginning of the next chapter. It's sad that I've resorted to bribery, but here I am. **


	11. The Morning After

**I personally think that this chapter is terrible, but I couldn't figure out any other way to get this out. It's a little short, but the next chapter is almost done and should be up tomorrow.**

**The amazing Stephenie Meyer owns all things Twilight.**

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**EPOV**

I woke up in the middle of the night to find that Bella was not there. I got up as quietly as I could, so as not to wake Charlie, and tiptoed to the bathroom. She wasn't there either. Next I checked the kitchen, not there either. As I was walking into the living room, I looked out of the window. Our rental car was gone. _That's strange_ I thought.

I was really starting to get nervous. Where could Bella have gone? As soon as I thought it, the car pulled up in the driveway. I waited a few minutes for her to come inside, but she stayed in the car. I went out to her. When I got to the driver's side door and opened it, I saw that she was crying. I gently scooped her up bridal style and carried her into the house.

**BPOV**

The entire way back to Charlie's house, I was fighting back the tears. When I finally pulled into the driveway, I let them fall. These were not gentle tears. These were full on sobs. After a couple of minutes I felt arms wrap around me. I looked up to see Edward's face. The sight just made me cry harder. I couldn't believe what I had done to my husband. This man was everything to me, and I had hurt him in ways that were irreparable. I couldn't bear to look him in the eye.

I felt him deposit me on the couch and he finally spoke. "Bella, what's wrong?"

All I could do was shake my head. He tried again, "Where have you been?"

I didn't even acknowledge him this time. I knew that if I opened my mouth I would blurt it out. I couldn't tell him like that, it wouldn't be fair to him. None of this was fair to him. As soon as I had done what I did, I felt terrible. I felt disgusting and dirty inside.

I promised myself that I would confess to Edward. He deserved to know. He deserved to have the option to leave me if he wanted to. The thought of Edward leaving me was unbearable and I began to sob harder.

Edward stopped trying to figure out what was wrong and just picked me up again. When he put me back down, I was on my bed. The rest of the night, Edward just held me as I cried, rubbing soothing circles on my back every now and then. He continuously hummed in my ear until I eventually fell asleep.

All of my dreams that night were about Edward. The day we met, our first kiss, our first night together. All of our happiest memories. After each dream I woke up in a cold sweat and starting crying again. I had hurt this most amazing man more than I could have imagined, and yet he didn't know.

As soon as the sun started to stream in through the window I got up and made my way into the shower. I put the water on as hot as it would go in hopes that it would help to relieve some of the tension in my shoulders. As I started to lather my hair, I began to think. _I could, I _should_ tell Edward as soon as I get out of this shower. But I know that he'll be so disgusted that he'll leave me immediately, as he should. Edward is the perfect man and I don't deserve him, I never did. But especially not now. No one has ever deserved someone less than I deserve Edward right now. I don't think that I would be able to stand it if Edward left. He is my life. Then again, I can barely look at myself right now, much less at Edward. How can he not see it in my eyes, he must already know. I won't tell him, I can't. I doubt I'd be able to force the words out of my mouth. _

**EPOV**

I had absolutely no idea what to think about last night. Bella had come home in tears and I was unable to get a word out of her. The truth is, it kind of scared me. If I was being honest with myself, I had an idea of what might have happened, but I refuse to believe that. Bella is incapable of hurting someone like that.

I slowly rolled over in bed to find that Bella was no longer in it. It was then that I realized that I could hear the shower running. I threw my legs over the side of the bed and shuffled to the bathroom in my pajama pants. As I got closer to the door, I realized that I could hear sobs coming from the tiny room. _Oh no, she's crying again._

What was with all of this crying? Something really big must have happened last night. Again, that slight tugging in the back of my mind was telling me that I probably knew exactly what it was, but there was just no way. Bella was mine, and nothing was ever going to change that.

The water turned off then and the door opened to reveal Bella in nothing but her towel wrapped around her. Her eyes were red and puffy, and apparently she wasn't paying attention to where she was going because she ran right into me.

**BPOV**

As I stood under the massaging showerhead thinking about what to do, the reality of the situation hit me full force and I was once again reduced to a crying mess, this time huddled on the shower floor.

Sleeping with Jake was easily the stupidest thing that I had ever done. There was no way to repair this. I sat there on the floor of the bathtub until the water was nearly frigid. For fear of freezing to death, I got up and turned the water off. I opened to curtain and began to dry off when I realized that I got in the shower without bringing anything to change into. I wrapped the towel securely around myself and opened the door.

As soon as I did, I ran into Edward with so much force that if he hadn't put his arms around my waist to catch me, I would have stumbled back wards. Standing there, in nothing but my towel with Edward's warm strong arms wrapped around me, I remembered just how _right _this felt. There was no one else in this world for me as perfect as Edward was, and in that moment I knew that whatever happened with Jake and me last night should be forgotten and never brought up again. Buried in the past, where it would stay. Or so I thought.

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**I know that this chapter is short, but the next one is almost written and should be posted tomorrow.**

**Feel free to tell me how bad this mini-chapter was.**


	12. No Longer Buried

**Please, Please, Please don't hurt me! I know that this chapter has been a long time coming, and for that I am so sorry. Things just got really out of hand in my life, and I had to take some time to deal with things. But anyway, here I am, with another chapter. I hope this one doesn't disappoint with the long wait. It's really the first chapter that begins the real meat of the story.**

**As always, the amazing Stephenie Meyer owns all things Twilight.**

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**BPOV**

The next five years went by faster than I thought possible. Edward had graduated medical school and was now a resident at his father's hospital. At some point through the years, the whole gang got back together and now all of us – me and Edward, Alice and Jasper, and Rosalie and Emmett – lived in the greater Chicago area.

Three years ago, we welcomed an edition to our family: a beautiful baby boy named Nathaniel. He was his father in every way. He had that some bronze hair that was always falling in his face, and those same striking green eyes. I felt as if the only thing I contributed to this little mini-Edward was a place to live for nine months, but that was perfectly fine with me; I wouldn't want to mar his perfection.

At the same time I had been pregnant, Alice had as well. Her little bundle of joy came in the form of a girl who they named Annabelle. Jet-black hair like her mother and soft gray eyes like her daddy, she was the prettiest little girl I had ever seen. And of course, there was the little boy that Rose and Emmett had announced on the day of our graduation, David. He had his mother's blonde hair and his daddy's curls with big blue eyes to boot.

Edward and I had not gone back to Forks after that fateful Thanksgiving and I was grateful for that. The first few weeks after that night were difficult. I had pulled everything into myself. I rarely spoke, rarely laughed, rarely looked Edward in the eyes, but after a little while I began to see that Edward knew that something was off.

The way he looked at me out of the corner of his eye told me that he _knew_ that something was up, but that he was too afraid to ask. I had never been great at keeping my feelings hidden, which was probably part of why I was such a terrible liar.

I realized that if I didn't try to get things back to the way they were, then Edward wouldn't be able to ignore the change anymore. And so I began to open up a bit more; after awhile things were almost back to the way they used to be. _Almost._ The love I saw in Edward's eyes every day was beginning to drive me crazy. _I don't deserve him_.

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"Bella honey, time to wake up now."

"Mmmm, no. Five more minutes." I felt something moving along my left arm from the shoulder down to my fingertips. I slowly cracked one of my eyes open to see what was going on. When I did, I saw that Edward was slowly peppering my left arm with kisses. When he got to the wedding ring on my finger, he slowly killed it and then started moving back up my arm. _What a lovely way to wake up._

"Are you up now?" Edward asked. I could hear a slight chuckle in his voice at the shiver that ran through my body.

"Yeah, yeah, I suppose I am. Is there a reason why I am up at-" I looked over at the clock, "8:30 on a Saturday morning?"

"Nathaniel has a play date with Annabelle and David in an hour. You scheduled it last week. They haven't gotten together in awhile, so you better get up." I knew he was right, but that didn't change the fact that it was still 8:30 on a Saturday morning.

An hour later I was standing in front of Rose and Emmett's house, Nathaniel on my hip and his day bag at my feet. I was just about to ring the doorbell when I saw Annabelle come bouncing toward the door through the glass. She was so much like her mother sometimes it was scary.

"Auntie Bella!!!" Annabelle screamed just before she threw her arms around my leg and latched on for dear life.

"Hi Annabelle," Nathaniel said from my arms. I slowly lowered him to his feet and he ran off into the house screaming, "DAVID!!"

"Hey there Annabelle, where's your mommy?"

"I'm right here." I looked up to see Alice standing right in front of me.

"Hey Alice, where's Rose?"

"She's out back on the patio. Emmett's got the kids today, so us girls can just hang out."

"Bless him. Come on Anna, let's go inside." I walked through the door with Annabelle still attached to my leg. When I got to the living room, I saw Emmett sitting there on the couch with David and Nathaniel at his feet while Blue's Clues played on the TV in the background. Annabelle finally let go of my leg and ran to go join the boys on the floor.

When I made it to the patio, I flopped down in the nearest chair, and turned to Rosalie and Alice, "So Rose, how on earth did you manage to get Emmett to agree to take the kids for the day?"

"Well, it really wasn't that hard. I simply told him that if he didn't, there would never be a chance for more kids, because he would never get the opportunity to make them." Rose said with a big smirk on her face.

"I'll have to remember that one the next time Jazz complains about not wanting any more kids. That'll teach him to tell me that I'm crazy for wanting five."

I just shook my head in Alice's direction, because really, I too thought that she was crazy for wanting that many children. I loved Nathaniel with every fiber of my being, but there was no way in hell anyone would be able to convince me to have any more children. Then again, if there was anybody on earth who had the energy required for five kids, it was Alice.

It had been about three weeks since the three of us had been able to hang out without the interruption of our children, so around noon we were able to convince Emmett to take the kids back to my place along with Jasper and Edward, and we had the place to ourselves. Rose had gone inside to see the boys and Annabelle off, and I looked up just as she was coming back through the door onto the patio. In her arms were several things; an extension cord, a blender, a bag of ice, a bag of salt, a bottle of margarita mix, a bottle of tequila, and 3 glasses. Needless to say, the afternoon would be an interesting one. "So ladies, where were we?"

After three rounds of margaritas, we seemed to be in a pretty chatty mood. I had heard more about Emmett and Jasper than I ever wanted to hear, and I'm sure that Rosalie and Alice could say the same thing about Edward.

After recovering from another laughing fit, Alice looked me straight in the eye and the look on her face was suddenly very serious. "Do you know what I regret most?"

Rose and I looked from one another to Alice. We didn't know what had brought on this mood, but I didn't like where it was heading. The word "regret" stirred something in me, something that I had been trying so hard to bury.

"I regret that I didn't tell Jasper that I loved him sooner than I did." I was relieved to hear this fairly mild infraction, and I thought that we were just going to move on. That is, until I heard Rose speak.

"I cheated on Emmett once. It was when we had first started dating. I had been with other guys before, but Emmett was my first real relationship and I was scared." After this, both Alice and Rosalie turned to me, as if they were telling me that it was my turn to voice a regret. I wanted to tell them, but I couldn't. I couldn't look them in the eyes and tell them what I had kept locked inside for five long years. So instead, I did the only thing I could, I lied.

"I don't have any regrets. I'm completely happy with how my life has turned out."

After that, I swiftly changed the subject back to something much safer. A couple of hours later, Emmett came back with just David and Annabelle, and I went home to Edward and Nathaniel. When I walked through the door, I couldn't look Edward in the eye. Things that I had been pushing down for five years had worked their way back up to the surface, and I didn't trust myself to keep from blurting out the truth right then and there.

That night, I lay in bed just thinking. I could hear Edward softly snoring next to me, but there was no way I was going to get to sleep. Around 2:00 in the morning, I got out of bed. Slowly, I tiptoed to the door, trying to be as quiet as possible. Once I made it to the garage, I just jumped in to the car and started driving.

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**Well there you have it. If you remember back to the beginning, then you should know what point we have reached in the story. Once again, I am so sorry for the long wait, please don't hate me too much. **

**And I know that I don't deserve them after leaving you guys hanging for so long, but reviews are still greatly appreciated. **


	13. Driving

**This is a bit of a filler chapter, and it's also a bit short, but the next one makes it totally worth it, or at least I hope.**

**The amazing Stephenie Meyer own all things Twilight.**

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_Around 2:00 in the morning, I got out of bed. Slowly, I tiptoed to the door, trying to be as quiet as possible. Once I made it to the garage, I just jumped into the car and started driving._

**BPOV**

I had been on the road for hours before I even bothered to read a sign to see what direction I had been going in. I was somewhere in Iowa, so apparently I had been going west. This fact didn't surprise me too much as I had seen the sun rise in my rear-view mirror a couple of hours back. At this point, I was just driving, just trying to clear my head. Since I had first learned to drive when I was sixteen, driving had been a very relaxing experience. If ever something were bothering me, I would just jump in my truck and drive. Sometimes even to Seattle and back. The years between then and now had changed many things; this was not one of them. I vaguely registered the fact that I was now crossing into South Dakota.

I soon realized that I was ravenous. I turned off at the next exit that I saw, which was for Chamberlain, South Dakota, and promptly found the nearest Denny's. Really, the only place to go for breakfast food at any time of the day was Denny's. And not only were they great for breakfast food, but they had the best pie known to man.

I walked into the restaurant and quickly found a table. As I was perusing the menu, I heard a throat clear somewhere next to me. Startled, I looked up quickly to see that it was just the waitress. She was a little old lady with gray hair and a kind smile. "What can I get you this morning miss?" she asked. She seemed really nice, and she just had this air about her. I felt as if she knew a lot about a lot of things, almost as if she could see through to my very being.

"Umm, just a coffee to start, I'm still looking at the menu." I replied casually, hoping that she wouldn't notice the fact that her gaze was making me slightly nervous.

"Sure honey, I'll be right back with that." As she was walking away, presumably to place my coffee order, she turned around to look at me and slowly shook her head. _That was strange_.

I looked at the menu a bit longer and decided that I wanted the classic Grand Slam. I was just making up my mind when the waitress returned with my coffee. "Here you go miss, do you know what you would like to eat now?"

"I'll have the Grand Slam, eggs scrambled with cheese."

The waitress was back in record time with my food, which I was thankful for because I hadn't eaten in about fifteen hours. When she put the plate down in front of me, she turned to me and asked, "There's really no one here today, do you mind if I sit and talk with you?"

I thought the request was a little odd, but I said, "sure" and she sat. At first, we just chatted a little bit about pointless things, but after a while, she said, "Honey, I have to be honest with you. When you walked in, I could just tell that something was up. It's not every day a beautiful young woman comes in here alone. Especially one with Illinois plates. _Especially _one with a ring on her left finger."

I couldn't believe that this complete stranger had just said that. She had taken me completely off guard and seen right through me. "What is going on in my life is nobody's business but my own." I snapped back, a bit rudely.

"I'm sorry miss, I did not mean to offend. It's just that you seem to have something heavy on your mind. Just know that you'll never find peace in the future until you've dealt with all of the dark parts of your past first. Mistakes and regrets make us who we are; they shape us and build us. They are there to be learned from, not pushed aside or buried." She said this and then walked away.

I ate the rest of my breakfast in stunned silence, contemplating what this woman had said to me. She was right, I realized. I needed to work through what was bothering me, I just didn't know how yet. I also realized that I had been on the road since two this morning and that it was now noon, and on top of that, I had been awake since 8:30 the previous morning. The fatigue was starting to set in, so, after paying my bill, I found a Holiday Inn and checked in for the night.

The room was clean and comfortable, which was really all I needed. I settled down on the bed, turned on the TV, and pulled out my cell phone. The entire time I had been driving, the phone had been on silent. Now that I was looking at it, I saw that I had 15 missed calls, 5 voice mails, and 3 text messages. I decided to check the texts first. They were all from Edward, of course.

9:00am

_Bella, where are you? I woke up this morning and you were gone, please call as soon as you get this. _

10:00

_Bella, I'm starting to get worried. Just please let me know that you are okay. _

12:00

_Bella, if I don't hear from you by five o'clock, then I'm calling the police. What could have happened to you?_

As soon as I was done reading the last text, I called Edward.

He answered on the first ring, "Hello? Bella, is that you!?"

"Yes Edward, it is. I'm fine. I didn't mean to scare you, I just had to get out for a bit."

"Thank God that you're alright! Where are you?"

"I went for a drive to clear my head."

"A drive to where?"

"Currently, I'm in South Dakota, but I don't know yet where I'll end up."

"SOUTH DAKOTA!?? Bella, you have to come home."

"No Edward, I don't. I'll be home when I come home. I'm sorry I scared you. Good bye."

I knew that I had no right to snap at Edward. I was the one who was in the wrong here. I was the one who had hurt him, but I couldn't face him just yet. I had to figure some things out first.

After watching an hour or so of TV, I dozed off. I woke the next morning to sunlight streaming through the window. When I looked at the clock, I saw that it was 8:00am. Because this trip had been completely unplanned, I had nothing packed. I took a quick shower and went downstairs to ask for the nearest Wal-mart. I bought all the necessities, went back to the room to change and freshen up, checked out, and was on the road again by 10:00am.

The next two days of driving were spent in a haze. My mind kept wandering back to what that waitress at Denny's had said to me. I had kept the biggest mistake of my life buried for a long time, and now it was shoving its way back to the surface. I could not ignore it any longer. Now was the time to do something about it. As I continued to drive, I noticed the Welcome to Washington sign to my right. My subconscious was taking me back to the scene of the crime. It was telling me that I could no longer hide from my past. It was time now to face what I had done, so that maybe I would be able to move on.

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**Ooo, what will happen when she gets to Forks? That's for me to know, and for you to find out. Hopefully sometime soon. **

**Just as you guys like updates, so do I love reviews. Just so you know ;).**


	14. Facing the Past

**I'm sorry that this is a little late. It's finals time in college land, so things have been a bit hectic. On top of that, I had a little bit of writers block, which is pretty much the devil. But out of that writers block came my new one shot called More Than Just Try. I hope that after you read this chapter, you go check that one out. **

**Enough of the author's note, on to the real shebang.**

**The amazing Stephenie Meyer owns all things Twilight.**

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**BPOV**

Now that I knew where I was going, I drove with a purpose. I had to get to Forks as soon as possible. I was never one for driving fast, that was always Edward's idea of fun, but now I was pushing 90 most of the rest of the trip.

I had no idea what I was going to do once I got to Forks; I just knew that I had to get there. Once the scenery became familiar, I began to slow down. I realized that I was in La Push, and so I pulled over when I got to First Beach. There were so many memories for me here; the weight of them was nearly suffocating.

I found myself at the top of the cliff that the boys of La Push used to cliff-dive off of in the summer. I had forgotten what a beautiful sight it was with the waves crashing below, and the sun setting over the water, coloring the sky a fiery red.

As I stood there, the weight of the last five years came crashing down on me, and I could scarcely breathe. No longer able to support myself, I slowly sunk to the ground. My sobs overtook me and I could no longer remember what it felt like to be happy, what it felt like not to have something so huge hanging over my head at every moment.

After what felt like hours, the tears finally dried up, and I was once again able to stand. This time, as I looked out over the waves, all I could feel was emptiness; an all-encompassing numbness. It was as if there was nothing left for me to feel at all. Just as I was about to take a step closer to the ledge, I heard something snap behind me. I turned around and found myself staring into the face of what had started it all. This was the reason that I was standing here right now; this was what I had to fix.

"Hello Jacob." It was all the sound I could force from my lungs. The sight of him sent my heart into a panic and I was sure that he would be able to see it beating underneath my shirt, threatening to jump from my chest.

"Bella, it's been a long time."

"Five years."

He slowly lowered his gaze from mine, shaking his head as he stared at the ground. Then his head suddenly snapped back up, his eyes once again piercing mine. "Bella, what the hell are you doing here?"

"I…I don't know." Even to my own ears the excuse sounded pathetic, but there it was.

"You don't know!? You sleep with me, completely disappear without a word, and them come waltzing back here after _five years_, and you tell me that you 'don't know' why?" His brown eyes were dancing with barely concealed rage and I found that I was a small bit afraid.

"Jacob, you know that is not fair. I did not come _waltzing _back here. I did not go looking for you. I was just standing here, looking out at the water, and thinking. Then out of nowhere, you come and start yelling at me about _waltzing_ when you're the one who found me. By the way, how _did_ you find me?" I could tell that I'd caught him off guard with my question. He shuffled his feet slightly before answering.

"I was driving around, just trying to clear my head when I saw a car. I though that it was odd that someone would be out here at this time, so I pulled over to check it out. When I saw that it was you, I was completely shocked. I had to get closer, to see if it was really you that I was seeing. I guess that's when you heard me coming up behind you."

The anger that was in his eyes earlier had all but disappeared, and now he had a new look on his face. I couldn't quite place what this new look might be, but I didn't have long to think on it, because he opened his mouth again to say something more.

"Bella, why don't you come back to my place? I'll make some coffee and we can talk in comfort." When he saw the look in my eye, he said, "Just talk, nothing more. I promise."

"What about Billy? Won't he be there?" I wasn't sure if I wanted to go back to Jake's place (AKA: the scene of the crime). And I definitely didn't want to have to face Billy. He would tell my father that I was in town and there was no way that that could end well.

"Ok fine. There's a 24 hour coffee place just up the road, how about we go there?"

"Sure, yeah. That sounds good."

Jacob turned around and started walking back to where the cars were, with me just behind him. Once in my car, I followed him to the coffee shop. The entire ride there, my heart was racing to get out of my chest. I knew that I had to talk to him; it was the only way to begin to fix what I had ruined, but I had no idea what to say. What was freaking me out even more was that I knew that after I was done here, I had to tell Edward. I couldn't hide any longer; the truth would have to come out.

We reached the parking lot of the café and I followed Jake inside. We ordered our coffees and sat down at a secluded table in the corner so that we could talk in private.

"Bella, why are you here?"

It was a simple question, really. But that didn't change the fact that I had no idea how to answer it. "I don't know why I'm here exactly. All I know is that the other day, something in me snapped. The next thing I knew, I was in my car, driving the 2,000 miles from Chicago."

"So you just randomly got in a car and decided to come back to Forks?" The look in his eyes was one of disbelief and incredulity.

"I know it sounds ridiculous, believe me I know. It's just that something in me was telling me that I needed to find my way back here, that this was the only way that I could begin to repair what I did."

"Bella, I'm sorry to say it, but what's done is done. There is no going back."

"You don't think I know that Jacob!? You don't think that every second of every day that I look into the eyes of the man that I love, that I don't break a little inside? You don't think that what we did that night haunts me everywhere I go? That I can't even make love to my husband without thinking about how I hurt him? Because if that's true, then I don't even know why I bothered to come and talk to you."

Shock registered briefly on his face before he was able to cover it up with a mask of calm. "I'm sorry. That's not how I meant it. I just don't understand how talking to me is going to help you undo what is done."

"I never said anything about undoing it. I know that it can't be undone. This can never be undone. I just thought that maybe if I was able to talk to you again, then I might be able to find the courage to tell Edward." Once I said the words out loud, I realized that this was a mistake. There was nothing that talking to Jacob could do to make this easier. If anything, it was going to make things harder.

"Well fine then, what is it exactly that you need to talk to me about? What is it that made you drive all this way?"

"I think that I just need to know what that night meant to you." He looked as surprised as I felt. That was not what I was intending to ask him, but now I realized that it was what I wanted to know most.

Before he answered, he slowly reached his hand across the table to grab mine. Then he looked at me with an intensity that I had rarely seen before. "Bella, that night in your dorm room all those years ago, when you told me that you picked Edward over me, even after knowing him for only a few weeks, was probably the worst night in my life. I meant it when I said that I would always love you. Nothing has changed."

If it were possible, I felt worse about sleeping with Jacob that night than I had before. I had hurt not just one, but two men that I loved, because even though I had picked Edward and loved him dearly, Jake was my first kiss, my first love, my first everything. There was no erasing something like that. Sleeping with him that night injured him just as much as it did Edward; I knew that now.

"Jacob, I'm sorry. I'm so sorry. Please forget that you ever saw me here. Forget about me all together. I can't keep hurting the people that I love. I'll never bother you again. I'm sorry." I bolted out the door and ran to my car, ignoring the calls of "Bella!" behind me, and I didn't stop until I was two hundred miles outside of Forks. I pulled into the parking lot of the first Motel 6 I saw, checked into a room, pulled out my phone, and called Edward.

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**That ending may have sounded like a cliffhanger, but it's not, not really. I hope that no one is too disappointed with how the whole Forks thing went down. I mean, the story has kind of been building up to this chapter since the prologue…**

**Once again, don't forget to check out my new one shot, More Than Just Try.**

**If you loved it, or even if you hated it, I'd really like to know. So please drop me a review to tell me.**


	15. Confession

**Wow, it's been awhile. Sorry about that, but now finals are over and done with and I can breathe again. I have a whole month off from college so you might be getting chapters a little bit faster than normal for awhile, don't get used to it. **

**I just spent the last 3 days re-reading Breaking Dawn, and I must say. It's not as bad the second time around...anyway.**

**It's short, but it's important.**

**Disclaimer: The amazing Stephenie Meyer owns all things Twilight.**

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"_Jacob, I'm sorry. I'm so sorry. Please forget that you ever saw me here. Forget about me all together. I can't keep hurting the people that I love. I'll never bother you again. I'm sorry." I bolted out the door and ran to my car, ignoring the calls of "Bella!" behind me, and I didn't stop until I was two hundred miles outside of Forks. I pulled into the parking lot of the first Motel 6 I saw, checked into a room, pulled out my phone, and called Edward._

Edward answered the phone on the first ring. "Bella, is that you? I've been so worried about you. Look, I'm sorry that I yelled at you the last time that we talked. I know what it's like to just need some time, though I've never driven to Oregon to get it before. But anyway, that's not what this is about. I just really need to know if you're alright-"

"Edward! Stop talking for just a second please." Everything that he just said he must have said in about ten seconds. "If you want answers to any of your questions, you're going to have to let me speak."

"Of course Bella, I'm sorry. I was just so excited to hear from you, and once again, I'm sorry for yelling at you last time."

"Edward, I need you to stop apologizing, you did nothing wrong. I shouldn't have just walked out the door like that, especially without leaving a note for you. I would have been terrified if I woke up one morning without you there. Listen, I'll be on my way home tomorrow, so I should be home the day after. When I get there, we need to talk."

"The day after? It shouldn't take you more than a day to drive here from Oregon." I could hear a bit of suspicion coloring his tone.

"I wasn't in Oregon."

"Then where were you?"

"I was in Washington." Even over the silence of the telephone line I knew that Edward knew what that meant. "I'll explain everything when I get home. I'll see you soon, bye." I hung up then because I couldn't stand to face what he had to say next. Yet another cowardly move by me.

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When I finally pulled into the driveway of our home in Chicago, I felt an immediate sense of relief. And then I remembered what I had to talk to Edward about and that relief became sheer panic. I sat stayed in the car for a few minutes, trying to will my heartbeat back into a normal rhythm. When it became apparent that that wasn't going to work, I took a deep breath and stepped out of the car.

The walk up to my front door was suddenly the longest walk in history, and when I reached the handle, I felt as if something had changed inside of me. The panic had dissipated, and was replaced by resolve. I knew that I was finally doing the right thing, and the only thing between me and doing that right thing was this door.

I slowly turned the handle and was surprised to find it open. The second I walked through the door, I was in Edward's arms. He was hugging me as if I had been gone for months rather than just days. Of course, this did nothing to make me feel better about what I had to tell him.

"Bella, I'm so glad that you are home. I was worried sick." Even though I knew that he meant what he said, there was an obvious hint of suspicion in his tone.

"I'm glad that I'm home too. Where's Nathaniel?" I had expected my son, my little mini-Edward to come running to me the second I was in the house.

"He's with David and Annabelle at Rose's. I wanted to be able to talk to you without interruptions once you got home."

"Oh." It was in that moment that I realized that Edward understood the gravity of the situation. We were still standing awkwardly in the foyer, so I took him by the hand and let him over to the couch in the living room. Once we were both seated, I turned my body to face him and crossed my legs under me Indian style; he mirrored my actions. Before I could think of a way to begin, Edward spoke first.

"Bella, I don't know what's going on, but I do know that whatever it is, it's big. Big enough that you would disappear in the middle of the night and drive halfway across the country. Big enough that you would leave your husband and your child worrying about you with no explanation."

His words pierced right through me. "I'm sorry, so very sorry for what I've done. I don't think that there is any way for you to ever forgive me." Before I could say anything more, tears starting pouring down my cheeks. I dipped my head down and covered my face with my hands while I sat there sobbing on the couch. After a few moments, I heard Edward's velvet voice again.

"Of course I can forgive you Bella. Just tell me why you left and I'll forgive you."

I started crying harder; he'd misunderstood. "I don't mean forgive me for leaving Edward, I mean forgive me for something worse. Something much, much worse. My leaving was just the final act in something that should never have happened." I had to stop speaking then because the crying got worse that ever. I could barely breathe, much less form complete, coherent sentences.

I felt Edward's arms wrap themselves around me and it did nothing but make me feel worse. He was rubbing my back soothingly, trying to make me feel better, but it reminded me of that night. The night that ruined everything. The night that I came back to Edward's arms and he held me while I cried myself out. This was so much like that night that couldn't take it anymore. I pulled away from him suddenly, and I could see the look of hurt and confusion in his eyes. It was about to get so much worse.

I took a deep breath and began, "Edward, I left because I couldn't take it anymore. I couldn't keep looking into your eyes everyday, knowing that I was lying to you. I couldn't take hearing you say that you loved me, knowing that I didn't deserve your love, that I still don't deserve your love. I couldn't keep pretending that we were some happy little family, knowing that I had done something to shatter us so completely. I couldn't keep making love to you night after night knowing that I had betrayed you in the worst way possible."

By now, Edward's anguish and pain was clearly evident on his face, and yet the confusion lingered. "Bella, what is it? What is it that you've done?"

"That night of our first Thanksgiving as a married couple, the one that we spent in Forks with my dad, something happened."

"Just spit it out Bella." I could see the beginnings of anger in his smoldering green eyes, and I knew in that moment that he had figured it out. He just wanted me to say it out loud. "Tell me what you did."

I took another deep breath and slowly and deliberately said the words that would change everything, "I slept with Jacob."

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**Sorry, sorry this took so long. And sorry that it's kind of short, I've never really been one for the long chapters. The day that I was assigned a 10 page paper was the day I changed my major to something non-academic. Writing for lengthe has never been my forte. **

**Anyway, I hope you enjoyed it, and keep an eye out for a new one shot in the next couple of days.**

**Reviews are **_**my **_**brand of heroin. Oh yes I did just go there. So what do you say, are you going to give me my fix?**


	16. Edward's Reaction

**I had to leave the country on a family emergency, and where I am now, there is very little internet access. This chapter had been sitting on my computer for days, and now I'm finally able to give it to you guys. Thanks for being so patient.**

**The amazing Stephenie Meyer owns all things Twilight.**

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**EPOV**

I had my suspicions about what Bella was going to tell me. Things had seemed off somehow for a while now, and her running off to Forks was just the final act in something that had been building for a long time. As much as I was suspecting what she had to say, it still shocked and destroyed me to hear her speak the words out loud.

"I slept with Jacob."

I felt completely numb as I rose from the couch and left the room. I walked slowly to our bedroom and shut the door behind me. I pressed play on the stereo, just listening to whatever was already in the player. My back hit the wall that faced our bed and I sunk down to the floor.

Being in this room felt…wrong somehow. Looking at that bed, I felt as if everything that had been done in it was tainted, wrong. Every kiss, every embrace was polluted by another man. It was too much to handle. For the first time in my life, I just broke down and cried.

After a few minutes, I heard a soft knocking on the other side of the door.

"Edward, are you alright in there? Scratch that, stupid question. Edward, I'm sorry. That word is horribly insufficient for how I feel, but there it is. I know that there is absolutely nothing that I can do to make things better, to go back to the way things were before all of this, no matter how much I want to-" I tuned her out; I had to. There was no way that I was going to be able to listen to her apology with the thoughts that were raging in my head. With every second that passed, my anger grew, and hearing her voice was doing nothing but making me angrier. I wanted to go to Forks and kill him with my own two hands, but reason told me that not all of the fault lay with him. That it takes two to tango, that if I wanted to punish him then I should punish her too.

That though immediately cooled my anger; even through all of this, I still loved her. She was still my Bella, and I could never punish her. There was no one to punish. That thought in turn reignited my anger. I needed someone to blame, someone to take my anger out on. I could not let this act go unpunished, where was the justice in that?

I had to get out of here. This room, this house was suddenly suffocating. I desperately needed some air. Somewhere in the back of my mind, I registered that fact that I probably wasn't going to be coming back for awhile, so I quickly packed an overnight bag. I grabbed my cell phone and the bag, splashed and dried my face to hopefully hide the fact that I had been crying, and opened the door.

I met her eyes for a quick second before looking down and walking past her. I paused when I got to the front door, turned around and said, "I have to leave."

**BPOV**

After what felt like an eternity, the door to the bedroom opened. Edward looked into my eyes for a split second, and that moment told me everything that I needed to know.

He was hurt, beyond repair. His eyes were red and swollen, as if he had been crying, and the expression on his have was one of the deepest sorrow. I had put that look on my husband's face, and there was nothing I could do about it.

He quickly brushed past me and made for the front door. Once he got there, he looked back over his shoulder and said, almost whispered, "I have to leave." And then he was gone.

I stayed standing exactly where I was for hours. He had left me, and it hurt, and yet I knew that I had no right to be feeling the hurt in this situation. After all, he had done exactly what I had expected him to do, exactly what I deserved. He had left me. I had no idea how long he would be gone for, and that thought scared me.

After what felt like forever, I heard the doorbell ring. It successfully brought me out of my stupor. I glanced at the clock and noticed that it was just after six. I really had been standing there for a long time. I ran to the door and pulled it open. Standing on the other side was Rose and my baby Nathaniel.

"MOMMY!!!" Nathaniel jumped into my arms and I hugged him tight.

"Hi baby. Listen Nathaniel; mommy has to have a talk with Auntie Rose. Why don't you go to your room and play with your blocks for a bit?"

"Ok mommy." And with that, he ran back to his room.

I turned back to Rosalie and said, "Hi."

"Hey there Bella, I told Edward that I'd be back here my six. I noticed that his car wasn't in the driveway. What's going on?"

"Come in, call Alice, and I'll explain everything."

**EPOV**

As soon as I left the house, I ran to the garage, jumped in my Volvo and drove into downtown Chicago.

Once there, I checked into the Peninsula. Whenever Bella and I needed a weekend to escape without actually going too far in case the hospital paged me, we would come here. Being here now was just torturing me more, but I couldn't leave.

To make matters worse, the receptionist recognized me and gave me our usual suite. I sat down on the bed facing the windows overlooking the city and just began to think.

Five years. Five years she had kept this from me. At this point, the original act wasn't her only…offense. For FIVE YEARS, our marriage had been a lie. I didn't know what to make of that.

I knew that something was off that night in Forks. She had been acting so strange, but I didn't push her on it. _God, why didn't I push her? How would things be different now if I had known then? Would we still be together? Would we have Nathaniel?_

No longer able to sit in that room, I made my way downstairs to the lobby. I grabbed a drink from the bar and headed over to the piano. I sat there for what felt like an eternity, just pouring my heart into the music. The notes were powerful and heartbreaking; they were my soul in song.

How could she do that to me? To us? This was by far the worst thing that either of us could have done to our marriage. I didn't know if there was a way for us to come back from this.

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**I have no idea if the Peninsula has a piano in the lobby or not. Just imagine there is one for the sake of my story.**

**So did he react the way that you thought he would? Tell me in a review!**


	17. A Heart Divided

**I am currently 30,000 feet above the Atlantic Ocean, and let me tell you, the views from my window seat are breathtaking. Though this is far from my first time in an airplane (probably closer to my 30****th****) I must have taken at least ten pictures out of the window. The views are so inspiring, that they are why I am writing now.**

**Ok, well now I'm back on the ground and updating the story. Anyway, enough of my babble, and onto the story.**

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**BPOV**

"_Hey there Bella, I told Edward that I'd be back here by six. I noticed that his car wasn't in the driveway. What's going on?"_

"_Come in, call Alice, and I'll explain everything."_

The look on Rose's face immediately changed to one of suspicion. "Bella, what's happened?"

"Just call Alice, and once she gets here, I'll tell you." I didn't want to have to repeat this story more than once, so I wanted to tell them both at the same time.

Ten minutes later, the three of us were sitting around the kitchen table. Alice and Rosalie turned to me with expectant faces. Alice was the first to break the silence. "Bella, please tell us what is going on. The last time that we saw you was when the three of us had our girl's night. Then the next day we find out that you're gone and no one knew where you went, not even Edward."

"I went to Forks." I couldn't even look them in the eye when I said it. Telling them wasn't near as hard as it was to tell Edward, but that didn't mean that it was going to be easy.

Rose reacted first to that piece of information. "Why on earth would you go back to that middle-of-nowhere town?"

"There was someone there that I needed to see, something that had to be resolved."

Alice was the one to speak this time. "Who is there to see in Forks?"

"Well do you remember how on our girl's night, we were trading regrets, and I said that I didn't have any?"

"Yeah…" They both replied in unison.

"Well, that wasn't exactly the truth."

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I told them the whole story, starting from that fateful night five years ago, and ending with Edward leaving hours earlier. I could tell from their faces that both were momentarily in shock.

Once she regained her senses, Rose turned to me and said, "Bella, I can't believe that you would hide this from us! We're supposed to be your best friends. This is the kind of thing that we should know about!"

Before I could respond to Rosalie, Alice spoke, "Rose please, we don't need to be punishing her now too. It's evident that she's punished herself enough over the years, and now Edward's left."

I was touched that Alice was being so sensitive to what I was feeling. That was, until she turned to me. "But don't you believe for a second that we forgive you for this missy! You may be my best friend, but Edward is my _brother_. How could you hurt him that way!? If you were any other girl, I would have beaten you to a pulp by now. I still might." I'd known Alice long enough to know that she wasn't kidding. She may be tiny, but that girl can throw a punch; it's the little ones that always surprise you with their strength.

"I don't know Alice. I don't know why I did what I did. All I know is that it is done, and that there is no going back. I've hurt almost everyone that I've ever loved, and there is nothing that I can do to take any of it back. Edward is gone. I know that I completely deserve it, but it's still the worst thing to come out of this whole situation." Edward was gone. I don't think that it really hit me until that moment. "Oh my God Alice, Edward is gone! What if he never comes back!?"

"Bella, honey, I know my brother. He just needed to get out and think, you know, like _you_ did. He'll be back, even if just for Nathaniel, he'll be back." I could tell that Alice truly believed what she was saying, and when Alice said something would happen, it usually did. It was kind of freaky actually.

"Do you guys think that he can forgive me?" I more mumbled the question than asked it. I was afraid of what they would say, afraid that I would have my worst fears confirmed.

"I honestly don't know," Rose said as she reached her hand across the table to grab mine, "He might, or he might not. This is something huge, and it's going to take a lot to work through. But I think that I know Edward pretty well, and it may take some time, but I think that you two can make it. Bella babe, that man thinks the world of you. He worships the ground that you walk on. And other than this major infraction, the two of you have been great to each other."

"She's right Bella," Alice said next, "Edward loves you more than anything. This may have hurt him more than any of us can imagine, but he'd do anything to keep you."

I knew that they were trying to make me feel better, which in all reality, is not something that I deserved, but their words were having the opposite effect. I knew how much Edward loved me. I knew that he would do anything for me. It was precisely those reasons that made what I did so absolutely terrible. Edward was the perfect man in every way, and I was the scum of the earth. The only reason I could think of for doing what I did was temporary insanity, and what kind of lame excuse was that? There was no excuse. I would take whatever form of punishment that Edward chose to bestow, and hope that eventually we could go back to some form of normality.

"I'm not sure that I can say that you guys have helped, because nothing can help me in this situation, but thank you so much for coming over and talking with me."

"It's no problem Bella, but I really should be getting back home. I don't know how long Emmett can handle David without me." Rosalie rose from her chair. "Try not to disappear again, and I'll see you soon."

"I should be going too. I told Jasper that I wouldn't be gone more than a couple of hours."

I thanked them again and walked them to door. As I watched my two best friends drive away, I began to wonder what Edward was doing at this very moment, and if he would, in fact, be able to forgive me.

**EPOV**

After about three hours sitting at the piano, I decided that I was sufficiently tired enough to fall asleep pretty much as soon as my head hit the pillow. I didn't want to give my brain any more time to think. I had done that enough in the past few hours, and I just wanted to be able to forget, even if just for a little while.

When I first woke up in the morning, I was unsure of where I was. Then I looked out the window and the events of the past 24 hours came rushing back.

_Could I really forgive Bella for what she did?_ I didn't know the answer to that question just yet. I knew that if I had been the one to mess up, I'd want her to be able to forgive me.

The fact that it was with Jacob both made things better and worse. If it had been a one-night stand with someone who she cared nothing about, then that would mean that the problem was with me. That there was something that I wasn't doing that caused her feel the need to go outside of our marriage. But Jacob wasn't someone that she cared nothing about; he was someone that she cared a great deal for. That's what made it better, that it wasn't my fault. That's what made it worse, that she actually cared for him. Her whole heart did not belong to me. Jacob still had a piece, a piece big enough that Bella had felt the need to act on it.

I think that's what hurt the most. Not the fact that she had broken the vows that we made the day we got married, but the fact that she wasn't completely mine. A part of her belonged to someone else. If there was a way for me to get past that, then I might be able to get past the rest of it. Maybe.

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**Ok, so now I have a confession. I know where I want the story to end up, I just have no idea how to get there. So the next few chapters are going to be just whatever comes out when I sit down to type. Hopefully it won't get too bad. **

**Review please?**


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